Stuck in a Quagmire
by Kali1
Summary: Bruce and Jim have an overdue talk.


**_Stuck in a Quagmire_**

_**By Kali**_

**Author's Forward: **_Okay, I've gotten a little inspired by the BW: F storyline currently going on in the comics. It got me thinking about how Gordon might respond to this, if he knew about it. I have no idea if the writers will bring him into the storyline or not. So, I decided to write a little fan fic about it, which includes my speculation about the crossover. It contains some spoilers regarding Batman #600 (Particularly, when Jim tells Bruce about what Barbara told him)._

_So this little fic is basically a conversation between Bruce and Jim. _

_My POV on the Bruce Wayne: Fugitive storyline is that Rucka might be following up on something he said in an old interview. That he wanted Bruce to be able to finally admit to himself that he wasn't alone in his quest. Now, I could be wrong. That was an old quote. Rucka may have changed his mind. But, I'm hoping for improved relations, and a better understanding, between the batsquad after this storyline is over. I'm also hoping that it will have Bruce realizing that he is both Bruce Wayne and Batman, and that the idiot playboy facade will be dropped. Or, at the very least, his public persona is much less of an act. Basically, I want this complicated character to evolve to some degree._

"It's been awhile." 

"I didn't realize that you were back." 

"Just got back.." 

"So, how have you been, Jim? How was your trip?" 

{Long, drawn out silence.} 

"Bruce, I know." 

{Long, drawn out silence.} 

"And you came back because you heard?" 

"Yes." 

"Sorry to have inconvenienced you, but..." 

"My daughter informed about some of the facts about the case. She said that you told them that you had no intention of clearing your name? You can't possibly have meant that?" 

"I did." 

"Why? In Gods name, why?" 

"It's complicated." 

"Why don't you try explaining?" 

"It's not something that I can talk about." 

"I see. So, why did you come here to begin with?" 

"I thought that I could... come here... and express some of my feelings about what has been happening lately." 

"To an empty house?" 

"Yes, well. It worked last time. Sort of." 

"You've done this before? Great. Has it ever occurred to you to try live people or animals, even, as a means of venting your feelings?" 

"Actually, yes, I've tried... using the bats in the cave." 

"Well, at least you're talking to animals. I guess that's something. But, don't you think that it's time you learned to open up a bit to your allies?" 

"It's not that simple." 

"Isn't it? Your refusal to talk things out, to explain things, nearly ended our friendship during No Man's Land." 

"As I recall, you weren't in any hurry to discuss things either." 

"That was different. I thought you had abandoned Gotham without so much as a warning." 

"Jim, if you knew who I was. Surely you must have realized that... After D.C., I just couldn't deal with how I had failed Gotham. I needed time to regain my focus." 

"In other words, you ran away. Just like you seem to be doing right now." 

"It's not that simple!" 

"Then try explaining it to me. Tell me what is going on, Bruce!" 

"I can't." 

"So, you wont talk to me, but, youll talk to my house?" 

"............." 

"Is it, that you're afraid that I'll question your actions? Or is it, that you're afraid that by talking to me, you'll start to question your own actions?" 

"No. I did what I had to do." 

"Then why don't you sound certain of that?" 

"I am." 

"Then why did you come here to vent? You must have wanted to talk to someone about this. Especially, someone who might be empathetic to what you're feeling." 

"Jim, my relationship with Vesper wasn't really comparable to yours with Sarah." 

"I didn't say it was. But you dated her. Before the quake and just prior to her death. It doesn't take a detective to realize that you had genuine feelings for her." 

"......." 

"Barbara told me that she had discovered your secret. That she had intended on exposing you." 

"No, she didn't." 

"'No, she didn't'? As in No, she had changed her mind?' No, she never intended on exposing you?' Or, No, she did intend to, and you just felt betrayed and wanted to deny it?'" 

"No. I... We... We talked about it. I convinced her of the danger involved." 

"Well, now we're getting somewhere. Did you talk to her on the morning of the murder? 

"Yes." 

"So, it was you who called her up from Wayne Manor, and asked her to come over?" 

"Yes." 

"What happened afterwards? Did you leave? Go out on an emergency call?" 

"................" 

"Bruce, we need to talk about this." 

"I can't, Jim. I just really can't. Not right now." 

"Okay, lets talk about something else that has been bothering me about this case. Bruce, why did you buy the gun?" 

"You're not..." 

"No. I just want some answers. You came here to talk, to vent. So let's do that." 

"Sasha told me that I was being childish in my opinion of her carrying a gun." 

"And did she hit a chord with that? Make you think about it? That your aversion to them could be mostly based on what happened to your parents? That you really don't hate them, just what they represent to you?" 

"I do hate guns! I loathe them! I know perfectly well that they are just tools. That individuals are to blame. But when you compare the United States' statistics for handgun related deaths to other countries with stricter gun control laws like Canada, Great Britain, Japan, Australia... Well, look at the comparison! Toronto's handgun related deaths for all of 1998 was just 17. Gotham has that many in less than a week! Why shouldnt I hate them!?" 

"Bruce, you're evading. Why did you buy the gun, if you hate them so much?" 

".........." 

"I appreciate your feelings on guns. I'm just trying to understand why someone as anti-gun as you are, would buy one." 

"Just before I bought it, I had an encounter with Scarecrow's fear gas. It made me think about some of my phobias, like those..." 

"With your relationships?" 

"No... Yes. I wanted to try to overcome some of my fears." 

"Really? Is that why you shut out your whole family' after the murder happened?" 

"No. I wanted to change. Do you think that I want to be this way? That I'm happy with it? I'm not. Sometimes, I think that it would be better if I could just commit emotional suicide. Just block all the pain out. That Id be more efficient in my mission if I did so." 

"But, it doesn't work that way. Does it, Bruce?" 

"No. It seemed like the more I tried to put the past behind me, the more it came back to haunt me. Jason, my parents, Azrael..." 

"Azrael?" 

"He... filled in for me, after that... incident with Bane." 

"Oh, so that was him. But the second fill-in, that was Dick, right?" 

"Yes." 

"So, the gun was about dealing with your fears?" 

"More or less." 

"Now, what about Sasha? Please tell me that you didn't intend on abandoning her?" 

"No. I have a plan. If things turn out the wrong way... If she was convicted I would do something about it." 

"Not involving a phony confession, I hope." 

"..........." 

"Bruce." 

"Jim, please try to understand. I can't let the secret be exposed. It wouldn't just effect me." 

"I'm very well aware of that. I'm also aware of the pain this situation has caused my daughter and especially, your son. How do you think a phony confession would effect him? Or Alfred? Or anyone else who cares about you?" 

"It would be difficult. But, necessary." 

"Is it necessary? Have you really thought about what the consequences of you being a fugitive will mean to your family, friends, and even your employees? Everything, everybody will be under a microscope. The GCPD will be looking for any hint of suspicious activity that they can find." 

"And what about the consequences of what could happen if the secret came out?" 

"Are you saying that you think that there is no way to prove that you're innocent without revealing that you are Batman? Or, that you think the real killer knows of your dual identity?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"Then let us help you." 

"It's not that simple." 

"Bruce... And that brings me to another thing I wanted to ask you about. Barbara told me about your supposed belief that Bruce Wayne' doesn't exist. That he was only a mask that you wore. Yet, here you are, answering to your birth name. Would you mind explaining that to me?" 

"............." 

"Didn't think so." 

{Long, drawn out silence, numero tres.} 

"I'm tired. I'm tired of living that lie. I'm tired of having to pretend to be some idiotic moron who smiles at everyone. Tired of pretending to be happy. Tired of pretending to like shallow, self-absorbed society types whose main concern is what car to drive to a restaurant. The Porsche or the Lamborghini? I'm tired of pretending to like that corrupt piece of garbage that is our illustrious mayor. But, most of all, I'm tired of pretending that I'm some womanizing playboy with a long string of exs who matter nothing to me. When..." 

"Someone you loved was just murdered in your home. Look, Bruce, I know how difficult this must be for you. How painful. But, shutting everyone out is not the answer. It's not going to solve anything." 

"Won't it? " 

"It won't." 

"It's not that simple. It really isn't. My parents shot and killed, Dick shot by Joker, Barbara crippled by Joker, Jason killed by Joker, Sarah killed by Joker, you shot and nearly killed, and now... Vesper murdered in my home, with my gun, while I was down in the cave taking a goddamned shower! How am I supposed to feel?! How am I supposed to let anyone close to me, when pretty much everyone close to me has gotten injured or killed?! I couldn't even protect Vesper in my own home! How can I possibly hope to protect anyone else that I love!" 

"Bruce..." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." 

"No, I want you to talk about this. You were there for me after Sarah..." 

"Yes, but, can't you understand? You wanted to deal with that on your own. I respected that request. Why can't anyone respect my need to work through this by myself?" 

"Bruce, this involves murder, and it involves you being framed for that murder. You can't run away from this. You need our help. Now, about what you just said, you left her upstairs and went down into the cave? Did you know she was in danger? Is that why you told her to come over?" 

"Yes. I just thought... I thought she'd be safe. With the Manor's security system, I thought... I was an idiot." 

"Bruce, it wasn't your fault. You had no way of knowing." 

"I knew someone had put a hit on her. I had her come over to the mansion in order to keep her safe. Only I couldn't... I couldnt." 

"I know the feeling." 

"Yeah, I guess you do." 

"Still, Bruce, you can't shut out the people who care about you. You need them right now. In more ways than one. Pushing them away, only hurts them and yourself." 

"I don't want to hurt them. I just want to be left alone." 

"But, that's not how you really want it, is it? You started dating Vesper again. You didn't want to be alone. Did you?" 

"No. No, I didnt." 

"You say that you are pushing people away to protect them. Do you honestly believe that if anything happened to them, that it would hurt any less than it would if you hadn't of pushed them away?" 

"No." 

"Then, what's the point of pushing them away?" 

"Right now? Keeping them safe from whomever killed Vesper with the intention of destroying me. I couldn't bear it if I lost anyone else right now. The risk of that is too great right now. Especially, with that murderer loose." 

"So you do intend on going after Vesper Fairchild's killer, after all?" 

"No." 

"But, you just said..." 

"Jim, I intend on letting the killer come to me." 

"What?" 

"Vesper knew. The killer might have known as well. It may be someone that I've fought before. It may not be. The best way to find out, is to see who this person goes after. Me, or Bruce Wayne." 

"But, you're supposed to be in hiding." 

"In a country with no extradiction policy. I set up a JLA satellite to keep track of the property in question. If anyone tries to get within two square miles of the place, I'll know. Also, if they were after Bruce Wayne, they will possibly buy up Wayne Enterprises stock in preparation for a hostile takeover. So, I'm keeping a close eye on that as well. Now, if they were after Batman..." 

"They'll come after you." 

"Exactly." 

"Which is partly why you told them to stay away?" 

"Partly, yes." 

"Don't you think that you should let the others in on your plan?" 

"It's too dangerous." 

"Bruce, you trained them. You need to learn to trust them. They aren't helpless civilians, they can take care of themselves." 

"It's not that simple." 

"It never is with you. It's bad enough that you won't even let them know that you're innocent." 

"But, I'm not innocent, Jim. While I didn't pull the trigger, I still have Vesper's blood all over my hands. Nothing can change that." 

"Bruce, it wasn't your fault. Don't shut everyone out because of it. I know how tempting it may feel to do so. Believe me, I do. I still miss Sarah every day. Still see her smile, hear her laugh. Nothing can change the past, Bruce. Erase the hurt. All you can do is try to change the future. Sarah wouldn't have wanted me to shut myself off from the world, and Vesper wouldn't have wanted you to do that either." 

**_Disclaimer_**: _The characters in this story belong to DC comics. This little fic was written purely for fun, and as such, no profit is being made from it._


End file.
